Those one-star Yelp reviews? Child’s play. Buckle up because we're about to dive into the wackiest, most ridiculous complaints about NYC restaurants that turned out to be straight-up bogus. All the rant reviews in this article were aimed at 8it-Worthy joints that we can verify have some of the best food in NYC.

Why are we writing this article? Cuz you won't find this kind of BS on 8it. 8it is where the “OMG, where has this been all my life?” food lives. No fluff, no wannabes, just straight-up flavor bombs and fire recos from the peeps who eat, sleep, and breathe great food. Next time you're craving a bite that packs a punch in the NYC, forget about getting lost in the user-generated review rabbit hole on Google, Yelp or Trip Advisor. Join the 8it fam, where we serve it hot and fresh, minus the theatrics. Culture-first, street-smart, and ready to take your taste buds on a five-borough tour. Hit the green button at the bottom of this article to explore the 8it app.

Can’t get a table? Write a bad review, of course. 🙄

Of course, the best way to get a table at a restaurant that plays hard to get is to write a bad review. Certainly they will notice you then. Welcome to the 2020s, many restaurants nowadays only use Resy for reservations to free up the staffs time and allow them to prepare for a better service or focus on guests who are in the restaurant. Maybe if you actually went to the restaurant, you could write a review, but reviewing a restaurant based on how hard it is to get a reservation isn’t fair to anyone. You are taking away potential business for the restaurant and a potentially good dining experience for another person or group out of pure frustration that you can’t get a table there. It’s like slandering a musician’s name because their concert sold out.

Stick with Dominos then. 🤌

It’s clear this TripAdvisor user has a preference for pizza that’s just above microwave quality. No wonder they didn’t enjoy their Neapolitan pizza experience. The reality of Neapolitan-style pizza, the pizza that invented pizza, is that it’s simple. Fluffy dough rolled thin and cooked in an extremely hot wood-fired oven with a thin layer of sauce, splotches of high-quality fior di latte cheese and a small amount of toppings, if any, because the dough is so delicate that it can’t handle more. This style of pizza made pizza world famous, so if you don’t like it, you’re the exception to the rule. Instead of writing a review that exposes their lack of taste and knowledge of pizza, this TripAdvisor user should’ve made the walk of shame to Domino’s in silence.

Can’t accommodate your diet? How dare they. 🤦‍♀️

I don’t know who needs to hear this, other than this Yelp user, but not all restaurants were made for you. If you see there’s nothing suitable to your dietary preference on the menu, then don’t go. Hating on a joint because your vegetarian diet doesn't line up? That’s like getting mad at a pizza place for not selling sushi.

Luckily, 8it has vegetarian and plant-based categories loaded with 🔥 veggie eats. So next time you find yourself in this situation, don't penalize the restaurant 'cause they ain’t vibing with your flavor. Take out 8it where your plate's always full, your plant-based choices are endless, and the only thing you'll regret is not downloading our app sooner.

Drama over a missing side dish? FOH. 💁‍♂️

Restaurant employees ain't robots. Mistakes happen. Missed that $3 side dish? Could've been a slip, not a scheme. Trust us, no one is getting rich off your missing side dish. Instead, this TripAdvisor user should have maybe advised others to double-check their orders. In fact, one could argue that not double-checking the order for completion was a mistake made by the customer. Assuming a place is out to scam you over a $3 item? Any real New Yorker with their taste buds intact knows that restaurants ain’t playing those petty games. They’re here to serve up soul, not steal your cheddar.

Sounds like someone’s first trip to NYC 🐦

This Yelp user’s all ruffled 'bout some pigeons hangin' outside a restaurant. What's next? Complaining about taxi horns and dollar slices? Welcome to NYC, where pigeons strut like they own the block – 'cause they kinda do. A “pigeon infestation” is in no way specific to this restaurant, it’s a New York City thing. They're everywhere, mixin' it up with the locals. It's like yellow taxis, bodega cats, and even the occasional pizza rat. Got a problem with pigeons? Maybe NYC ain't your slice of pie.

Good food ain’t fast, and fast food ain’t good 💁‍♂️

Some restaurants have such good food that everyone and their grandma is in line for it. That’s just a fact of life. If you really want to get it quickly, the best option is to go right when it opens, or even wait outside beforehand. Or even better, go work there yourself and see what it’s like having such high demand. Then maybe you’d understand how hard it is to meet every in-store customers needs while also staying on top of online orders. Before you go dissing on the wait, remember: Good food ain’t fast, and fast food ain’t good.

Sorry for being busy? 😒

Eating at a popular restaurant means you might be seated in some tight spaces. Although the visual of this Yelp user clipping another diner’s hair does give us a good laugh, don't blame the restaurant for wanting to pack 'em in – they're just spreading the flavor love. While tables might have been open at the time, they were likely reserved for other parties scheduled to come in. As for the roaches on the sidewalk, it comes with the territory. A restaurant can’t do much about the roaming vermin of New York City outside of their space. Go leave the Mayor a Yelp review instead.

But the tamales were good, so… 🤔

This Google review is so disappointing because the user clearly states that the food was good at this joint. But, they left a two-star review because the delivery service left something to be desired. Restaurants offer delivery as an accommodation for customers, it has nothing to do with the quality of the restaurant itself. This business might be biting off more than they can chew with a delivery service, but at least they’re making the effort to make their food more convenient to customers.

Look, the internet is jam-packed with bad vibes. From side-dish mishaps to pigeon conspiracies and delivery drama. Why dive into that rabbit hole of negativity and miss some of the best food in NYC? With 8it, you sidestep the noise and connect with what's real – the bangin' eats that make NYC the flavor capital of the world. Forget the Karens, the haters, and the two-star mystery critics. We've curated the best dishes from the hottest spots, 'cause we don’t have time for the BS. Download 8it, and feast like the kings and queens we are.

Stay hungry, never hangry. 🍽️🗽👑

Psst…If you’ve made it this far, you probably give a damn about what we’re doing at 8it. Our founder Steve would love to get to know you. Hit this link to lock in 15 minutes to say what’s up.